This was a story from another site that I entered for the Bad Sex Challenge. It is meant to be wild and funny. I hope you enjoy it and take it for what it is. And i forgot to mention that a BIG, HUGE thanks goes out to lorig, who researched strange and funny names for genitalia! Thanks so much lorig!!!
To Boldly Go…
Logan tugged the blue tunic down as he stepped onto the transporter pad and waited to be beamed aboard the Enterprise. The material that the tunics were made of clung to everything and it was a constant struggle to keep them in place; he hated them already.
But that was the only thing he hated about Star Fleet; he couldn’t be more excited actually. Logan was the first vampire that had gone through Star Fleet Academy since vampires were now allowed to serve. Science had come up with nutritionally balanced synthi-blood that met vampire’s needs without having to bite. For vamps like Logan it was great since he’d never been a fan of feeding fresh anyway.
The day he graduated from Star Fleet Academy, 1st in his class he felt like his whole world had shifted, spun into place. He shared the day with Mick and Beth who had come in from their home on Juno, one of Jupiter’s moons and even Josef had come to help celebrate. As Logan accepted his commission he could see the pride that Mick, his sire wore on his face and Beth was beaming as she clapped for him.
Logan had been a vampire now for over 300 years and something he had always wanted to do was go to space. Ever since he saw Star Wars as a kid he had hoped for the opportunity but when he was turned he figured it would never happen. Now, here he was he thought with a grin on his still boyish face as he felt the tingle of the transporter begin.
A second later he blinked and saw the transporter room of the USS Enterprise which was alive with activity. He and Ensign Pavel Chekov stepped from the platform together, both of them mesmerized by the sheer idea that they had actually been billeted to the Enterprise, the flagship of Star Fleet. The ship had a new captain as well and there was a lot of buzz about it because many thought that First Officer Spock should have been given the command but it went to James T. Kirk, the youngest starship captain in the fleet.
After being assigned quarters Logan went in pursuit of Lt. Commander Spock who was to be his commanding officer. Spock was a Vulcan and Logan was looking forward to working with him since he was well known as the only person to have beaten a computer while playing Tri-Level Chess; his knowledge must be incredible and Logan looked forward to learning as much as was possible.
Logan and Pavel headed to the ‘C’ lift which was the only one that went to the bridge. When it stopped they stepped out and observed the buzz of activity all around them. Spock looked up from the viewer console and stood waiting for his new Ensign to approach, his hands resting behind his back as if he was at ease.
“Lt. Spock, Ensign Griffin reporting for duty!” Logan said and he couldn’t hide the excitement in his voice.
Spock took in the young Ensign and then remembered that he was over 300 years old, hardly ‘young’ at all. Ensign Griffin had dark curly hair that was neatly trimmed around his boyish face. He stood alert, resting on the balls of his feet as if ready to step forward at any moment.
“Welcome aboard Ensign Griffin. Let’s get started,” Spock said with little preamble.
Logan spent the six hours of duty on Alpha shift listening and getting acquainted with the equipment. It was about as high tech as you could imagine and even better than they had used in the labs at the academy. He observed everything on the bridge that day including personnel that came on. Captain Kirk was a bit of a surprise; not nearly as tall or imposing as he would have expected but he still managed to inspire respect Logan thought.
Late in the shift the red doors of the lift opened and in walked a young woman with gorgeous blonde hair and green eyes. Logan watched as she approached Kirk with a reader and he reviewed what was on it before adding something and she took it back and headed to the lift. On her way she caught Logan’s eye and smiled at him, petal-pink lips wide as she nodded at him. He watched her go with a grin and wide eyes that didn’t look away until the lift doors had whisked closed.
Later that evening after he had showered he paid a visit to the mess where he had a glass of the synthi-blood. It was kind of cool, the processors could make it any color you wanted and this time he chose lime green, in appreciation of his new supervisor Spock. He wondered what Vulcan blood tastes like and sat at the table grinning when he heard someone say, “May I sit with you?”
He looked up to see the stunning blonde from earlier and Logan grinned and nodded at an empty chair. “Please, I’d love the company!”
“Thanks. Um, you’re Logan Griffin aren’t you?” she asked taking a bite of some type of salad. She chewed it slowly and the Logan saw the tip of a very pink tongue slide out and lick her lips. His pants immediately got a bit tighter and he shifted in his chair to accommodate the discomfort.
“Yes, but I don’t know your name do I?” he teased.
“Janice Rand. I’m Captain Kirk’s Yeoman. You’re a vampire aren’t you?” she said, leaning forward across the table. Logan’s eyes immediately sank down to the ample curves of her jumblies that were displayed to perfection. “Is that blood you’re drinking? Isn’t it more fun to get it straight from a person?”
“I don’t do that, even before,” he said, slightly embarrassed. This wasn’t usually a topic for conversation with most people. Even in this day and age humans still tended to get nervous around vamps. “Uh, this is synthi-blood, an uh, nutritionally-based blood product.”
“Oh! Does it taste like Vulcan blood? I mean since its green and all?”
Logan almost spit out the small sip he had taken when he heard her question. “NO, well I don’t think so!” he rushed to say, stammering a bit over the words.
“Oh, okay. I just wondered,” she said with a slight pout, like it had disappointed her. She reached across the table and added, “Want to go to the rec deck after you’ve finished your dinner?” She batted her beautiful green eyes at him and he knew that he would follow her anywhere she wanted to go.
“Sure!” he said excitedly. He tipped the glass up and finished it all at once and set it down. “Okay, let’s go!”
Janice smiled and licked her lips again and stood up. The both grabbed their dishes and dropped them into the recycler as they passed the door. They walked down the hall to the ‘G’ lift and she pushed the button for deck ten, also known as the rec deck. When the doors slipped open Logan looked around him in amazement, before him was every type of activity he could imagine.
Janice looked at him and smiled and pointed to the right of them where there were viewports that looked outward. Stars flew past so quickly a human couldn’t even see most of them but Logan had no problem and he was amazed by all the colors that zipped by. He headed toward them and hardly noticed several door on each side of the viewports.
“It’s amazing isn’t it Logan?” she asked, pressing herself against his side. Logan could smell something sweet and intoxicating on her skin and he inhaled quickly, pulling in a much as he could. “Did you hear me?” she asked, when he didn’t respond.
Idiot! Say something, anything…
“Um, yeah. Yes, it is.” Dumb Logan, dumb. Why don’t you really impress her?
“Would you care to go into one of the private observation rooms to watch for awhile?” she whispered into his ear.
Logan shivered and it wasn’t from the cold. Suddenly her message was coming through loud and clear and he was up for it. Yes, he was definitely up for it. He only hoped that she hadn’t noticed.
Janice led him into one of the rooms with a green light over it. He noticed some had red lights, obviously a sign that they were occupied. They slipped into the room and she shut the door behind them and turned the privacy light on. Logan shifted from one leg to another, nervous and suddenly a bit scared.
He was no Casanova, he was a computer geek who usually had to pour on a bit of charm and maybe even allure to get up close and personal with the ladies. This one was clearly coming on to him and he tried to fight a brief moment of panic down.
Come on Logan, you’re 300 years old and you’ve been around the block a time or two. Just relax!
That was the last coherent thought he had – the next thing he knew she was all over him like peanut butter on a cracker. Her mouth melted against his, her tongue dipping deliciously into his mouth, swirling around his own. If he had needed to breathe he would have been out of luck because she sucked the air right out of him.
Her hands were everywhere, tugging his tunic off and then working the slides down on his pants. In less than a minute she had both of them naked and panting with desire.
“Oh Logan, I want you NOW,” she murmured into his ear and then traced it with her tongue. It felt electric and sent a charge up and down his body. If he was hard before it was nothing compared to now.
“Uh hey, you sorta got me Janice.” He pulled his mouth away long enough to spy a chair in front of the viewport and he lead her towards it; she followed, he hand stroking his ready eddy as they went. She pumped him furiously and he was about to lose control as she pushed him down on the chair and straddled him.
“Um, you have a lovely throbbing thrill hammer Logan. So big and hard. I’ll bet it is going to feel so good inside me. Do you want to push it into my love grotto? It’s nice and wet for you!” Logan looked down and admired the blonde patch of fur between her legs and reached an unsteady hand down to stroke her. He could swear she made a purring sound, like she had a tribble down there or something.
Logan could feel how wet and ready she really was. He was drenched already from the warm honey that flowed from her. She raised herself up a bit and sank back down onto him and sighed loudly as she did it.
“Oooh yessss…” she moaned as she started to ride him hard. “C’mon Logan, give it to me!”
“I’m givin’ you everything I got!” he told her, his hips pistoning up and down faster than they ever had before.
Janice bounced up and down on him, her boobs keeping a rhythm all their own. Her pert pink nipples were puckered in the cool room but Logan only had a moment to stare at them.
“Ouch!” Logan yelled as she bounced even harder. “My bairns, my poor, poor bairns!” She was squishing his balls flat and it wasn’t good. This was a wild ride and he was only hanging on by a thread. The girl was a maniac; Logan had never had an experience like this before. It was all intoxicating, the stars out the viewport rushing past in a blur, the scent of her arousal and the feel of her hot, wet silken meadow that gripped him so tightly.
“Oh yes baby, that’s so good!” she said, the words all running together. He felt her muscles squeezing him tightly as she bounced up and down on him, moving at light speed. “C’mon Logan, give it to me NOW!”
“Givin’ it all I got – I’m a computer guy, not a miracle worker!” he managed to get out as wiped sweat out of his eyes.
“Oh Logan, push it baby, push it harder and faster. I wanna feel your blue-veined custard chucker let loose! NOW…” she screamed as her orgasm took over. Her body twisted and undulated on him and Logan could feel her hot pocket squeezing him tightly.
His fangs lengthened and he sank them into his arm and let his own bottle rocket shoot, all thrusters firing and driving deeply into her. Both of them were panting with exertion and satisfaction. Janice laid her head against Logan’s shoulder and bit him lightly.
“I thought vampires had to bite to get off?” she asked.
“I uh, did. I bit my shoulder,” he answered with an embarrassed grin.
She looked at it with a puzzled expression. “Don’t see any marks.”
“We heal really fast,” he told her, finally catching his breath.
“And you live forever?” she prompted, trying to get him to talk a bit more.
“Well, unless someone cuts my head off or I get burnt up,” he said with a shrug.
“Wow, that’s impressive. So you will live long and prosper?” she giggled.
“I certainly hope so!” he said as he leaned forward and nipped at a rosy pink nipple. “How about a second orbit?”
Her moan of pleasure was all the answer he needed.